in the midst of the storm

something has always puzzled me.  the peace of God.  what is it exactly.  i’ve been a christian for a long time and spent a good portion of my life in full time ministry.  peace has not been the norm at times…especially the past 8 months.  we moved to the research triangle park area of north carolina to follow God’s call to start a church.  around a month before we were supposed to leave, the funding fell through.  angie had already resigned her job and was set to start at duke in july.  we had already put a deposit down on a place to live and were good to go.  (i had planted before, so i thought i knew what i was doing)  the first storm that came was angie’s job.  i can’t describe it as anything but a living hell.  it totally rocked her world and turned our family upside down.  now i’m a carolina fan, but my basketball team bias didn’t have anything to do with this.

next, i come to realize that even though there is a huge need for church plants, there was an equal need for me to come out of a church or denomination.  that was all set before.  i spent 5 months networking.  i’m pretty good at networking, so i now officially know 75% of the pastors in raleigh, durham and chapel hill.  this was hard on the kids, so angie took them to a GREAT church in Cary called Hope Community Church to give them some stability.  that meant we were in separte places a ton of the time.  i’ve spread myself a mile wide and an inch deep…unintentionally.

thank god, angie quickly got a job at unc.  the situation is MUCH better, though she has been in orientation for the past 6 weeks.  starting at a new place is always a transition.  she moved from her home town, moved houses and adjusted to two new jobs in the span of six months.  that brings be back to this verse…

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  – Philippians 4:7

i “think” i understand it a little better now, though it hasn’t been my experience.  the peace of God is one that surpasses all understanding.  it wouldn’t surpass all understanding if it wasn’t in the midst of a storm.  paul says this peace WILL guard your hearts and minds in Christ.  he says nothing about feeling the peace.  when you read the context, the disciples were rather distressed that Jesus was sleeping and the boat was in danger of tipping over.

my flesh (i’ve heard it called an earthsuit), the part that is still waiting for redemption, cries out for knowing and EXPERIENCING this peace.  however it is very illusive.  i relate very well to the disciples and it disturbs me that God seems content to “sleep” during this time.

don’t get me wrong, angie and i know we are where we are supposed to be.  were just unsure of what God is up to.  we don’t know what brought about the storm.  we both flee to our old coping patterns during times like this and tend to act in our spiritual lives like we “think” God is acting towards us.  i’d be interested to hear any stories of redemption that have come out of situations like this.  i know they are there.

also, please pray for us.  we are still waiting on our house to sell, and the economy has made the two things that i have a lot of experience in…ministry and executive recruiting…virtually impossible right now.  i guess i’ve always prayed to understand what it means to depend on God.  maybe i’ll learn that you get what you pray for!

i need a smoke, any one have a light?